


hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

by theamazingjess



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, F/F, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26787871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theamazingjess/pseuds/theamazingjess
Summary: Do you believe we have a choice in who we fall in love with?For a long time Pansy believed choosing was a gift to some lucky people, and that her destiny was set on stone, no chance of changing. But what if something, or someone, made her challenge fate?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson
Kudos: 38





	hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters as they belong to that fucking transphobe J.K. Rowling. But her being a bitch won’t take away my enjoyment of this world and these characters.
> 
> This is the first fanfiction I have posted in English; and the first thing I have written in many years, so please be kind. I always thought Hermione was such an interesting character and I craved to see how her relationship with someone a little more interesting than Ron (sorry Ron fans) would evolve. As I am a HUGE lesbo I wanted to see this complex relationship with a girl, so I decided to explore a Pansmione love story. You can expect a lot of making out, breaking up and making up. Some angst, fluffy love declarations and all that cool shit that the best fanfics bring.
> 
> Note 2: Also, I am in need of a beta. Anyone up for the task?

CHAPTER 1

"RON, STOP!"

Pansy can hear Granger's scream, but she doesn't register what's happening right before her eyes, until she's rudely pushed to the side by the other girl.  
Her first instinct is to draw her wand and point it at the Gryffindor prefect, but Granger pays her no attention and rushes past her towards the two boys rolling on the floor doing their best to kill each other.

Pansy had watched with some amusement how Draco had tainted Potter, Granger and the youngest Weasley from the moment all of them had set foot in Hogwarts. She would even join him sometimes when she was bored, which happened to be most of the time.  
Therefore, her glee was no surprise when at the beginning of their 6th year Gryffindor and Slytherin prefects were assigned to patrol the castle grounds together and alas, here they were, stuck with Granger and Wesley three nights a week for the rest of the school year. Can you imagine the hilarity of the situation?  
Pansy had known Granger enough to know she wouldn't fall easily to Draco's slurs and insults, but Weasley? Oh, Weasley had always been such an easy target. Too many were the times Granger had to restrain him from throwing himself against Malfoy.  
Draco Malfoy, her oldest friend, if he could even be called that. Could she call anyone that? The girls she had shared a dorm room with for the past six years were definitely a big no. Sure they followed her around like mindless puppets, laughing at her jokes and making fun of people she deemed unworthy of any consideration (almost everyone, truly), but was this enough to make someone a friend? Did they know anything about her? About her life? Her thoughts? Her fears? Had they known who she was at all? 

They had no clue.

Draco did, though. Well, he had an idea. After all, they were the same. Both coming from traditional pure blood families, there were some rules people like them were supposed to follow and a certain behavior they should exhibit. Things were expected from her. Great things. Draco understood all of that, which was why she was so weirded out by the way he acted when they saw each other a month before returning to school.  
It was the end of July and the Malfoy's had been invited to a gala at the Parkinson Manor, nothing uncommon among that crowd. Pansy's parents had held those kind of events for as long as she could remember. They loved showing off their house, the family china, her mother's jewelry, the Parkinson legacy!  
The Malfoy's were a constant presence in those parties, along with many other respected pure blood wizardry families like the Greengrasses, the Zabines, the Notts and anyone else her parents considered worthy of the invitation.  
Still there was something off about this party. For starters there were less people than what would normally come. There was also a palpable tension in the air, murmurs in the corners, but not the mindless gossip Pansy was so used to. Actually, there was no gossip at all, no chatter, no laughs. People seemed tense, almost afraid of something… of saying too much. But the strangest thing of the night was the absence of one Lucius Malfoy.  
Narcisa Malfoy had arrived in the arm of her only son and apologized for her husband's absence. She looked flawless as always.

"Some work issues. You know how it is." She had said to Penelope Parkinson.

Pansy raised her eyebrow looking at the exchange. No, her mother didn't know how it was. None of them did. They were rich for Merlin's beard; they knew no such thing as work! After pleasantries were exchanged, she approached Draco who had excused himself to grab his mother a flute of champagne. 

"This party is so dead. Let's break into my father's office." - Pansy whispered to the boy near the table full of refreshments - "He keeps a bottle of his finest firewhisky under his desk. Maybe this night will be at least bearable if I'm under the influence of something a little stronger than champagne." - she finished, her eyes full of mirth.  
Draco paid her no attention and focused on his task of choosing an appetizer for his mother.  
"I can't leave mother alone. I'm here as her escort."  
"You're her escort, Draco, not her father. You don't have to babysit your mother; I'm certain she will be fine on her own". - Pansy insisted and tried to grab the boy's arm to lead him out of the saloon.  
But as soon as she touched his right arm he pushed it away as if her touch carried one of the plagues.  
"What's wrong with you?", annoyance permeated her voice.  
"I just told you. I can't leave her alone". - the boy sneered at her holding his own arm and left the table.

Pansy imagined his behavior had something to do with his father's absence, but she had no opportunity to inquer him on the issue. True to his word he spent the evening glued to his mother's side and didn't leave it not even for a second.  
After that strange night she believed things would go back to normal once they were back in Hogwarts. Oh, how wrong had she been.  
Draco looked even more sullen on the train, skipping the prefects meeting and disappearing throughout the whole train ride, leaving the task of controlling the students to her and the other prefects.  
As the weeks passed her worries only increased. Draco looked sick, like he hadn't slept or eaten a single meal in ages. He avoided the company of his previous companions, choosing to spend his time Merlin knows where doing God knows what. But if all of those things were not odd enough, this was: he had no interest whatsoever in Potter and his friends. There was no teasing or name calling. It was like they didn't even exist. It was like no one existed to Draco. His head somewhere else completely.  
She tried talking to him. Asked if he was okay, if there was something wrong and his polite answer was for her to mind her own fucking business. At that point she just stopped trying.

So to put it simply all these unexplainable developments meant that pratol night was a complete bore. Nobody would utter a world unless it was really necessary. They had spent almost two months patrolling the castle with minor altercations... until today.

Draco had been strange today. Stranger than his usual self. He seemed nervous, skittish, almost paranoid, like he was expecting something… anything to happen. He also looked extremely irritated. They had been walking in silence for what felt like hours, until they arrived at the seventh floor, that's when his teasing began.  
For years Draco had been merciless with Weasley. But today he seemed even more cruel. Taunting the boy with all his insecurities, mentioning his poor family, his sister that was so popular at the school (especially among the male population), but his biggest weakness had always been Potter, and how small he'd always felt compared to his famous best friend and Draco knew so well how to push those buttons.  
The moment Potter’s name was mentioned Pansy knew he had hit a nerve. On any other day she would happily join Draco in one of those jokes, but things this year had been so fucking weird, Draco looked so unlike himself that she couldn't even bring herself to find any of this funny. She could only prepare herself for the worst.

“Ron, stop it! Let him go! Parkinson, a little help here?”

Granger’s shrill voice brought Pansy out of her daydreaming. The two boys were still on the ground, but now Wealey seemed to have the upper hand, punching Draco who tried to move from under him. Granger looked at her with wild eyes, her hair even more frizzled than normal and her mouth open in a silent plea.

“Expelliarmus!” Pansy murmured and extended her arm to grab the two wands that flew into her hand. “What?” she yelled to Granger, who looked at her like she was crazy. “Now they can’t kill each other!”

Shaking her head Granger looked at her: “Help me separate them before someone arri-”

“WHAT IN MERLIN’S NAME IS THIS?”

Granger didn’t have the opportunity to finish her sentence. Professor McGonagall stumbled upon them on that corridor of the seventh floor and boy did she seem annoyed. With a flick of her wand both boys were separated, one in each side of the corridor.

“Professor McGonagall, we’re just-!”

“Mr. Weasley, there’s no need to scream as I’m standing right in front of you. Now, would one of you please care to explain just what was happening here?” Arms crossed and eyebrows raised the older woman faced the boys.

“HE ATTACKED ME!” Draco accused, pure hatred in his eyes.

“You were asking for it. He started this Prof-” Ron tried to be heard over Draco’s accusations.

“Okay, that’s enough screaming the two of you. Miss Granger and Miss Parkinson, would one of you please clarify to me how two prefects went from a simple patrol to exchanging blows on the floor?” McGonagall’s irritation seemed to increase by the minute. Her brows wrinkled together and her right foot tapping impatiently on the stone floor.

Pansy looked Draco in the eyes before looking in McGonagall’s direction and saying with all the calm she could muster in her voice. “Weasley just attacked him out of the blue. He’s obviously troubled by something and tried to take it out on Draco.”

“NO!” Hermione yelled horrified with Pansy’s answer. “Malfoy spent the evening insulting Ron and I. He is the troubled one, he’s clearly in need of a good therapy session. Professor, Malfoy was-”.

“ENOUGH. It’s almost time for your curfew and I won’t allow more incidents like this to happen throughout the year. I don’t care who started what, but you are all old enough to deal with the consequences of your actions. It’s gonna be detention for both of you, every evening for the next month.”

Hermione looked shocked with the severity of the punishment and tried to resonate with the annoyed teacher. An amused Pansy observed the girl’s frustration.

“But Professor, how will they have time to study? And finish their assignments? What about patrolling? It’s one of the prefects duties.”

“They can use the weekend to catch up on all their school work.” 

Weasley was clearly horrified at the prospect of losing his weekends locked in the castle doing school work. But Pansy was surprised to notice that Draco looked... relieved? As if the burden that seemed to be on his shoulders the whole night had just been lifted. Was he trying to escape patrolling nights on purpose?

“What about patrolling?” Hermione frantically tried to argue with the teacher.

“You and Miss Parkinson are quite capable of carrying on with your duties for the next month, am I right?” McGonagall calmly inquired.

Granger looked at her horrified with the idea of spending the next month patrolling the castles by her side, just the two of them. Pansy tried to conceal her happiness. Antagonizing Granger seemed so much more fun than having to deal with Draco’s mood swings and Weasley’s stupidity!

She smiled wickedly at Hermione Granger before answering Professor McGonagall, voice sweet and filled with glee. “You can count on us. I am sure Granger and I will get along perfectly.”


End file.
